I Don't Want to Be a Teenager

I was definitely a follower in high school.  If my friends thought it was the thing to do, then it was the thing to do.  I didn't realize it at the time though.  In my crazed teenage mind, it was my own original idea that just happened to be exactly like my friend's idea.  Oh my gosh! We're so much alike!  No wonder we're friends!!!!! (Insert present day eye roll)

At one point several girls I knew were getting belly button rings.  Do people get those anymore? Well, since they all had one, I had the brilliant idea that I needed one too.  Actually, what I really wanted was a tongue ring.  I remember telling Dad that.  I was so serious, and I'm pretty sure that was the point he thought I had lost my mind for good.  I was like a dog on a bone with this thing.  I think Mom and Dad just got to the point that they were sick of hearing me talk about it.  They knew it was a mistake, but it was one that I was bound and determined to make  so they were going to let me, knowing it would be one of those moments I look back on and shake my head at.  So, I was allowed the belly button ring on the condition that I didn't talk about getting a tongue ring again until I had graduated high school and was in college.  DEAL!

Well played, Mom and Dad.  Well played.

I don't think anyone outside of my family ever saw that thing.  I wasn't the skinny girl in school so I didn't wear shirts that exposed my belly or bikinis in the summer.  Heck, I wouldn't hardly wear shorts because of my poor self-image! But this belly button ring. Had. to. have. it. By the time I got into college I was over the darn thing (not that I would have admitted that to Mom and Dad) and there was no way I was going to spend my money on a tongue ring.  That would have been just stupid.  I needed that money for cigarettes! (One more eye roll)  I eventually just took it out and never put it back in.  I thought it would heal.  It doesn't.  There is still a hole in my belly button.  One that will always be there.  And let me tell you, this is most definitely an invention for people who have not had babies.  Belly button ring hole + stretch marks from two pregnancies = Oh my goodness, I just lost my lunch!

I can't say it's all bad though.  If nothing else, I may be able to use it as a tool in raising my girls.  Yesterday as I was getting dressed, Eva noticed my belly button ring hole.  With a very confused look on her face she asked, "What's that?"  I looked down to where she was pointing and said, "Oh. Well, when Momma was a teenager I was a little silly and thought it would be a good idea to get a belly button ring.  It's kind of like an earring for your belly button...silly.  Mamaw and Pappy told me I shouldn't, but I didn't listen.  Silly."  She thought on this for a little while and with disgust dripping from her voice she says, "I don't want one of those, and I DON'T want to be a teenager!" Amen, baby girl.

I realized in that moment, as they become older and in their teenage wisdom think they know all, I will have a weapon to fight teenage stupidity.

"Oh yeah, you think you know better than Momma? Well I did too." and WA-BAM! There's the belly button ring hole staring at them!

Their friends are over and they start getting a little full of themselves and mouthy.  "Think you're smarter than Momma, huh?"  WA-BAM! 

"You wanna try out the newest trend, like shaving your head or getting a tattoo of Justin Bieber (I hope to God, those don't ever become a thing)?"  WA-BAM! "So did I!"

Me and my belly button ring hole, we have a special relationship now.  I may never be able to wear a bikini (not that I would have to begin with) but I will be able to disgust and humiliate my children.  And maybe, just maybe teach them that sometimes Mom and Dad do know what they're talking about. 




P.S. You were right, Mom and Dad.  I should have listened.