Blessing Box Link-up

I want to write. I'm just not sure what I want to write about. I saw a link up today about blessings. You're supposed to share the blessings in your life or something...I'm not sure. I don't think I paid close enough attention. Hold on a minute and I'll check it out...

Yep, that's pretty much it. You just share what God is blessing your life with in this moment. That's a pretty good thing to write about, I think.

Here goes.

At random.

Eva started preschool and is loving it. I am so grateful that she wants to be there and she wants to learn. Not only is she enjoying preschool, but I am so grateful to be able to be a part of this school.

Aubrey is almost potty trained. I say almost because it seems she's mastered the pee part but number two is something she still likes to keep to herself. Well, I just said that and she'll probably prove me wrong about the pee part. Tomorrow she'll wake up and pee all over herself all day long. It's what the child does. Prove me wrong. Anything to get a reaction. Maybe she'll decide to prove me wrong about number two. Maybe tomorrow is the day she decides the potty is the place to be. One can only hope.

I had a good visit with a friend from high school today. We talked at our class reunion a few weeks ago and realized that we are now right down the road from each other. She came over today and it was really nice to get to see her. It also motivated me to mop my floor and trust me it was getting bad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I started reading Kisses from Katie a few days ago. I've had it for a while and it was on my reading wish list for even longer. It's one of those books that I've really wanted to read but put it off because I know it's going to challenge me. I have no doubt it's one that God is going to use to speak to me, and what I do with it is on me. Sometimes I like to act like my toddlers and pretend that I don't hear anything. Sometimes I like to be comfortable, and I know this book is going to make me uncomfortable. But in a good way. In a growing way.  I saw a quote from Ann Voskamp the other day (I can't remember the blog that was quoting her), she wrote, "And the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, comforts us when we step outside our comfort zone. It’s only in the uncomfortable places that we can experience the tenderness of the Comforter."  I believe that. 

One more blessing, I'm making tacos tonight. This is a blessing because, well, it's tacos. They're easy, they're yummy, and my honey likes 'em. Plus I've got a couple avocados that need to be used so I might even whip up some homemade guac. Plus plus, the girls don't like guacamole, so that means more for Adam and myself.

 

 

   

There are so many more blessings, but my belly is grumbling and Aubrey has whined at me, "My hungryyyyyy!" a couple different times now.  So, I'm going to just say yes to the tacos.



Linking up with Beth Ann at My Life More Abundant.

First Day of School

Eva started Preschool today.

I am so proud of this girl.  She has been so excited about starting school. She woke up this morning and was walking around the house singing, "It's the first day of school. It's the first day of school todaaaaay!"  Last night she picked out her outfit and tried it on to make sure everything looked just right.  We walked to school and she talked the whole way there.  I was there all day, because I'm working at the preschool this year, and she didn't ask me for anything.  She was completely fine on her own. 

 

 

She told me that she made lots of new friends but only knew three names.  I asked her what her favorite part of the day was and she said, "Snack time! No! It was playing outside!  That was my favorite!"



We walked home and I noticed she was moving a lot slower.  I asked her if she was tired and wanted to hold my hand and she said, "No...but I think I'm going to lean on your leg while we walk."  I asked her if she wanted me to hold her back pack and she said, "No. I can do it."  A few steps later she asked, "Momma, can you take my backpack? It's making me hot."


I honestly didn't know how I would do on this day.  Being at the school, I figured I would be fine and for the most part I was.  The hardest moment of the day was when we left Aubrey at Mom and Dad's.  Eva gave Aubrey a hug and a kiss (no one told her to) and said, "I'm gonna miss you my Aubrey girl."  and that's when I almost lost it.

 

 

 

 

 

Our world has changed.

 



 

Eva's Four

Eva turned four.  How did that happen?  It really does surprise me at times when I watch her.  Sometimes I see my baby, but most of the time I see an actual little girl and it surprises me everytime.

She's tiny. Real tiny for her age.  At her check-up she was 34 pounds (17th percentile) and 38 inches (41st percentile).  She gained four pounds since her first birthday.  I wasn't sure how she was going to handle the immunizations.  She hadn't had any in so long and she was due to get three.  I've been to every single one of my girls doctor appointments and this one had me the most worried.  I knew this would be the one that she knew what was going on and it made me real nervous.  She was great.  Three shots and not a single tear.  She didn't even say, "Ow!"  I was so proud of her.  The doctor asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.  She confidently replied, "A doctor like you!"


First birthday.  Chubby chubby kissy baby!

For her birthday we enrolled her in gymnastics classes.  This Monday was her first time and she loved it.  After the class was over, she asked "Can I get my trophy now?"  Then on the way home she informed me that, "She can do all the flips."  I was there watching her the entire time and I can assure you, she cannot do all the flips.  She sure tries though.  She would fall and land on her head time and time again and everytime she'd get back up with a giggle and start over.  Her hair was CRAZY by the time the class was over.  Ponytail all to the side. Hair hanging down everywhere.  I'm going to have to do something different with that next time.  She had the best time though and keeps asking when Monday is going to get here again.

Second birthday.  She sang Happy Birthday to herself. :)

 

 

She starts preschool in the fall (Where yet, I'm not sure. That's for another post.) and I'm finding it more difficult than I thought I would. 

 

Three years old.  Not so much of a baby girl anymore.

Fourth birthday. Cake for breakfast. (and a banana)

 

 

She loves her sister so much.  They fight.  A lot. But they're also best friends and always know, or are in the process of finding out, where the other one is and what she is doing.

 

 

 

 

Four.  I'm so proud of this kid.  So blessed that I'm her momma.

 

 



Changing It Up

I'm changing the way things look around here.  Please bear with me.  :o)

This Mom Stuff

This mom stuff.  It's hard.  I know I'm not telling any mom anything new, but man!  Sometimes, most of the time, I feel like I am completely failing these kids.  I think, "Lord, what were you doing when you gave these kids to me? You know I'm just gonna mess them up right?"  I've thought that a lot this past week.

When we were in church for less than five minutes and she starts fighting me, because she doesn't want to sit still.  I thought it then.  She wants to get down.  She wants to run.  She wants to tell every person there, "Hi!"  I told her she had to stay there.  She could sit between me and her sister, or she could sit on my lap, but she could not get down.  "NO!"  "Lord, I'm not cut out for this." From there, everything goes down hill.  Fast.  She not only doesn't want to sit still, she isn't going to sit still.  I decide I have to take her to the back of the church.  But I'm the only parent there and I have two kids.  I have to take both of them to the back of the church.  One is happy that she's getting to move...finally.  The other is freaking out because she wants to sit still.  She wants to be in church.  "I'm failing again.  I'm messing this up. Again."  We went home.  Ten minutes into the service and we went home.  Loud tear-filled protests from the back seat, quiet defeated tears in the front.  "Lord, I can't even control my kids for ten minutes.  I'm trying to trust that I'm the right parent for these kids, but I don't feel it.  Not right now."

When that beautiful round face with those round brown eyes looks at me and says, "You're a bad mom," or "You're so mean," I think it then.  Not so much when she says, "That means you don't love me anymore." That one's so ridiculous it can't be true. Ever.  But the first two, those cut deep.  Those are my biggest fears. The very things I hear in my mind at the worst moments.  When those thoughts are voiced by the angry voice of my three year old, it's too much. "Lord, what am I doing wrong? I don't think I'm ever going to get this."

Then there are times when it seems like things might be okay.  I may not screw them up completely.  When I was in bed all day with a stomach bug and that three year old brought me two get well pictures.  "Here, Momma.  I'm gonna put this under your pillow." "Lord, I love that sweet girl"  When the chubby hands of a two year old sandwich my face and in her best growly voice she says, "My yuv you more!"  "Not possible."
 

This mom stuff. It's hard.  It's hard and messy and beautiful.  It's revealing my worst flaws and my biggest strengths.  It tears my heart open in one breath and in the next it's healing it and giving it new life.  In those worst moments when I doubt myself the most and my heart cries out, "Lord, why did you entrust these amazing beings to me?  You know I'm probably just going to mess them up, right?  You get that, don't you?"  I am so grateful when I feel Him whisper back, " I get it.  Alone you probably would mess them up. But you aren't alone.  I'm here.  I wouldn't have lent you my children and then left you to do it on your own.  Lean on me. Parent with me."

I so often forget that they were His first.  I fight for them (or with them) everyday, and think of them only as mine and Adam's. But they were His first, and they are His now, and when it's all said and done, they will go home to Him.  I'll do my best while I'm here with them.  I'll keep my heart open to His whispers and when it gets to be too much, I'm gonna turn to Him and say,  "All right, it's your turn.  Momma needs some me time!"

P.S.  I know the dad stuff is hard also, but I don't have any of those experiences to draw from. ;)

Growing Pains

A few things happened today that have me writing tonight.

1. Aubrey is no longer sleeping in a crib.  My baby is now in a toddler bed.

I'm hoping she doesn't fall out of it.  I put up a little bit of a barrier with a rolled up blanket under the sheet.  If that doesn't keep her in I have the Dora couch strategically placed in front of the bed.  If she falls the two feet, it'll be on something soft.  Mother of the Year right here.  

Warning: If you are offended by the sight of toddler urine, do not look at the next image.

2. Aubrey used the big girl potty!

That's right.  Baby got mad at me while she was sitting on the potty, started throwing a fit and when she started crying, she started peeing.  Adam thinks this is why her diaper is always full.

3. Eva has a new phone friend.  She was having a very long conversation on her phone.  I was curious.  Who could she be talking to?  So I asked.  Normally the answer would be Daddy, Mammy, Aunt Sissy, etc.  Not this time.  Nope, my first born was talking to her husband.  Whaaaat!  I don't think so.  

Too much growing today.  Big girl bed, big girl potty and marriage.

It's amazing to me how you can feel so many emotions as a parent.  I love watching them accomplish new things.  I love seeing how proud they are of themselves.  I want them to grow and at the same time I want them to be babies forever.  (As long as they're happy babies.  I don't want the tantrum throwing babies. They can grow up.)

I don't want to forget these things that they do and say.  So here's January in phone pictures.

I finally got to meet this guy and I fell in love again.  I have the world's most adorable nephews.

We went on a date for his birthday...

...and ended up at Home Depot.  Loved this flooring...

...and this rug.

Enjoyed a warm-ish January day with hot chocolate and

hot coffee.

They had a beach party in Eva's bedroom.

Silly girl with a new hair cut.

Another warm January day. Just me and my bible during nap time.  Glorious nap time.

Aubrey realized coloring on herself was better than sharing the dry erase board.

I realized it will be a while before I can have a rug like the one at Home Depot.

I Don't Want to Be a Teenager

I was definitely a follower in high school.  If my friends thought it was the thing to do, then it was the thing to do.  I didn't realize it at the time though.  In my crazed teenage mind, it was my own original idea that just happened to be exactly like my friend's idea.  Oh my gosh! We're so much alike!  No wonder we're friends!!!!! (Insert present day eye roll)

At one point several girls I knew were getting belly button rings.  Do people get those anymore? Well, since they all had one, I had the brilliant idea that I needed one too.  Actually, what I really wanted was a tongue ring.  I remember telling Dad that.  I was so serious, and I'm pretty sure that was the point he thought I had lost my mind for good.  I was like a dog on a bone with this thing.  I think Mom and Dad just got to the point that they were sick of hearing me talk about it.  They knew it was a mistake, but it was one that I was bound and determined to make  so they were going to let me, knowing it would be one of those moments I look back on and shake my head at.  So, I was allowed the belly button ring on the condition that I didn't talk about getting a tongue ring again until I had graduated high school and was in college.  DEAL!

Well played, Mom and Dad.  Well played.

I don't think anyone outside of my family ever saw that thing.  I wasn't the skinny girl in school so I didn't wear shirts that exposed my belly or bikinis in the summer.  Heck, I wouldn't hardly wear shorts because of my poor self-image! But this belly button ring. Had. to. have. it. By the time I got into college I was over the darn thing (not that I would have admitted that to Mom and Dad) and there was no way I was going to spend my money on a tongue ring.  That would have been just stupid.  I needed that money for cigarettes! (One more eye roll)  I eventually just took it out and never put it back in.  I thought it would heal.  It doesn't.  There is still a hole in my belly button.  One that will always be there.  And let me tell you, this is most definitely an invention for people who have not had babies.  Belly button ring hole + stretch marks from two pregnancies = Oh my goodness, I just lost my lunch!

I can't say it's all bad though.  If nothing else, I may be able to use it as a tool in raising my girls.  Yesterday as I was getting dressed, Eva noticed my belly button ring hole.  With a very confused look on her face she asked, "What's that?"  I looked down to where she was pointing and said, "Oh. Well, when Momma was a teenager I was a little silly and thought it would be a good idea to get a belly button ring.  It's kind of like an earring for your belly button...silly.  Mamaw and Pappy told me I shouldn't, but I didn't listen.  Silly."  She thought on this for a little while and with disgust dripping from her voice she says, "I don't want one of those, and I DON'T want to be a teenager!" Amen, baby girl.

I realized in that moment, as they become older and in their teenage wisdom think they know all, I will have a weapon to fight teenage stupidity.

"Oh yeah, you think you know better than Momma? Well I did too." and WA-BAM! There's the belly button ring hole staring at them!

Their friends are over and they start getting a little full of themselves and mouthy.  "Think you're smarter than Momma, huh?"  WA-BAM! 

"You wanna try out the newest trend, like shaving your head or getting a tattoo of Justin Bieber (I hope to God, those don't ever become a thing)?"  WA-BAM! "So did I!"

Me and my belly button ring hole, we have a special relationship now.  I may never be able to wear a bikini (not that I would have to begin with) but I will be able to disgust and humiliate my children.  And maybe, just maybe teach them that sometimes Mom and Dad do know what they're talking about. 




P.S. You were right, Mom and Dad.  I should have listened.