That's Not What I Wanted

I remember when I was pregnant with Aubrey, Christmas shopping for Eva.  There was one particular gift I wanted Santa to bring her.  A chair. Her chair, for the living room.  It's where she spent a lot of her time (still does) because it is literally in the middle of the house.  Whether she was "reading", coloring, playing with her toys or watching TV, I could keep an eye on her.  She was still small enough though, that she couldn't get up on our couch by herself so I wanted a place for her to rest comfortably that was all hers. 

I searched everywhere for the perfect chair.  I looked in stores and online.  I looked at rockers, chairs, couches and even recliners.  I had a vision of what this perfect chair was going to be. Can you tell I was at the end of my pregnancy and all jacked up on hormones? It was not only going to be something that she loved, but it was going to be stylish and pretty.  It wasn't going to be one of those cheapos you get with a cartoon character on it.  No, it was going to be something we wouldn't mind leaving out where everyone could see it. Maybe something like this:

And really, what I had in mind, was much fancier.

That didn't happen.  I just couldn't bring myself to spend, what I feel, is a ton of money on a chair she is going to grow out of.  So, I settled.  My dream of the perfect piece of furniture vanished.  This is what she got instead:

  
The Dora Flip Open couch.  Yes. Yes. That is a cartoon character.  Yes, I did get it from Wal-Mart.

Good Lord! I've failed as a parent! 

I was so disappointed.  She loved it.  Still loves it.  Seriously though, one of the best purchases ever.  Especially, when I find that this thing that was supposed to be "all her's" has become "all theirs."

I have so many pictures just like this.  They lay there and talk, and giggle, and live in their sister world (for about 5 minutes and then the screaming and crying starts).  It may not match my living room, it may not be what I wanted, but that's okay.  They love it, and that's all that matters.  

 

Late Night Ramblings

It's late.  I should be in bed.  As heavy as my eyes are, it wouldn't take me long to fall asleep.  I've been reading Sarah Bessey's blog again.  I just love the way she writes.  I can spend way too much time reading her blog.  By the time I pull myself away from the computer I find myself wanting to move to Canada and call my kiddos, "tinies".  I don't always agree with everything she says, but she inspires me and now I find myself wanting to pretend that I can write half as well as she does.  Only I sit here, and nothing comes.  I can't think of anything to write about.  Probably because I'm exhausted. 

I worked outside today and it was nice.  I finally decided to plant my mums.  I know, they will likely die.  I waited too long to put them in the ground, but I think part of me hoped we would sell the house quick enough that I could take them with me and plant them at our new home.  It doesn't appear that is going to happen though, so I'm going to do the best I can to not waste perfectly good mums!  Eva and Aubrey helped me.  Translated means, Eva dumped a bunch of dirt into the driveway and yard and Aubrey freaked out everytime she thought she saw a granddaddy long leg.  I don't know what I'd do without all of this wonderful assistance!  Actually it is sweet how much they want to help and if I think about it, it will be humorous looking back on Aubrey's fear of these spiders.  It's not funny that she's scared of them, but the way the freak out begins is the funny part. 

Imagine: Aubrey is having a wonderful time playing.  The evening sun is shining through the trees.  Big piles of newly fallen leaves all around. Her loving big sister joins the scene.  Ever the helper, she directs her where to go and how to play.  Aubrey follows along, and I think, "How sweet.  I love when they play so well together."  Eva continues to narrate their activities and then it happens.

"And Aubrey, there's the granddaddy longlegs,"  Eva informs. 

Only there aren't any granddaddy longlegs, but by this time Aubrey has gone into a panic.  She starts screaming and running towards me.  Luckily, it doesn't take much to calm her down and she will stay close until she feels the vicious creature has found other prey.  I really can't say much though.  After all, I am the woman who thought her hair was attacking her.

Carving pumpkins a couple weeks ago.

Today I'm grateful for these two beauties.  They're just so amazing.  At this point in our lives it feels like I'm constantly frustrated because it seems as if they just don't want to listen.  Sometimes I get angry.  Sometimes I'm just plain cranky and mean.  Sometimes I have to ask them to forgive me.  They always do.  Without question.  These little people have given me so much.  I'm so grateful for these "tinies".  Did that sound Canadian?

P.S.  Sorry for any typos/misspellings.  My brain is overly tired.  If I've made some errors, well, I'm too tired to care! :o)

Warm Fuzzy Feeling

I love this time of year.  Thanksgiving. Christmas.  It's the first day of November and I was so tempted to put Christmas music on!  I usually wait until the day after Thanksgiving to bring out the Christmas stuff, but I may have to break out the CDs a little early this year.

I think my favorite part about both holidays, is just the way I feel.  It's like two whole months of warm, fuzzy feelings.  I'm really excited about Christmas with the girls this year.  It's going to be so much fun!  Although, we need to talk to the girls some more about it.  We were talking about Christmas during dinner one night last week and I asked Eva, "Do you remember why we celebrate Christmas."
"Yeah," she says.
"Whose birthday is it?"
"Jesus."
This is where I smile. So very proud of the fact that my daughter knows what Christmas is about.  Then with much more enthusiasm, she says, "And Santa's going to bring me toys!"
So, we might have a little work to do there.  On the bright side though, I'm pretty sure she thinks Jesus is the coolest guy ever.  She doesn't get presents for anyone else's birthday!

Seriously though, I would like to focus on being grateful for what we already have over the next month. As we get into Christmas I'd like to be able to stress that it's more a season about giving than receiving.  Show the girls ways we can give to others, not necessarily presents, maybe volunteer our time.  This would be more for Eva this year, than Aubrey.  I want my girls to grow up with grateful hearts.  I want them to want to be generous.  I'm not expecting a lot right now though.  I don't think I know any toddlers that are especially great at sharing!

In the spirit of Thanksgiving and being grateful, I'm going to follow the lead of many of my Facebook friends, and come up with something each day that I am grateful for.  Today, I'm grateful for my God.  He has given me so much. I look around and realize how blessed I am.  I am grateful for a God that loves me and is patient with me and doesn't give up on me. 

Any ideas or suggestions to build a grateful heart?