I want to be crafty. I want to be witty. I want to be passionate about the Lord. I want to teach my girls how to be strong, compassionate, generous women with a love for God. I want to never stop learning. I want to be healthy. I want to run in a 5K. I want to grow old with my husband. I want to be what God has planned for me to be. I want to follow His will.
I've spent a lot of time in recent years thinking about what I could have been, what I could have done. Thinking, "Wow, you really fell short. MILES short of what you could have been! You're not a stupid person and you could have really made something of yourself had you ever actually applied yourself in anything." I didn't though, and it wasn't until it was too late that I realized that. I have thought these things, and then along comes social networking sites and it feels like they just rub my face in it. I see all of these people that I know or have known, doing these things that, at this point in my life, are pretty much just dreams from a distant past. I start having these "what if" thoughts, and then I hear God saying, "Open your eyes woman. Look around at all that you have, at all that I have given you. You are blessed and if you don't pay attention and start acting, it really will be too late. Too late to do the things I have planned for you."
There are things in my life today that are teaching me so much about myself. Things that, had I "became something" wouldn't be in my life. For instance, my husband and our two beautiful girls. It is amazing to me how much you can learn from a two year old! I can't ever sit here and wish that I would have done things differently. That would be wishing away three of the most precious gifts He's given me. I may not be where I thought I would be, but I have faith that I am exactly where He wants me to be. I can look at my girls and look at my husband and know that I am something to them.
There are so many things that I would like to do, but do any of them really matter if they aren't what He wants for me?
So here I am, starting a blog. Will I stick with it? Who knows. I have many projects lying around my home that I have started and not yet finished and this could be another. My hope though, is that with a little motivation, provided by this blog, I'll talk about what I'm doing and want to finish my numerous projects on the off chance that someone might be reading about it. I want the blog to be a tool to help me become what God wants me to be, so I think about what I could have been less and start thinking more often about what I could be.
Let's see what happens.
